Charis Around the World

Life In Ukraine
Anne Sokol

The Iron Curtain came down ...

... while I was in high school, and the Lord used the information and testimonies of various missionaries to burden my heart for the former Soviet Union.

I also read everything I could about homebirth and midwifery at that time, and I was also involved in the pro-life movement in my home town. The Lord brought all these interests together in my life, and my “plan” developed. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I knew exactly: a missionary-midwife in Russia with a huge home where girls in crisis pregnancies could live and have their babies (with me as midwife, of course). For years, as a teen, I would kneel down by my bed and night and pray for the ladies I would one day minister to.

Fifteen years later, so much unexpected has transpired between then and now that I am amazed to sit here and think that God is actually fulfilling that dream. It’s been nothing like I expected. I have even stopped expecting it!

At 18, I visited Ukraine for the first time and since then, this country has become a virus in my blood. In college, when dating a guy, the acid test would be if I could give up my dream of going to Ukraine as a missionary for this guy (if that wasn’t his calling). Funny, isn’t it?

I finished college after majoring in Creative Writing and getting a Masters degree in English, also not what I expected, but I knew it was God’s will at the time. I had planned on becoming a nurse and then studying midwifery. But that is another story . . .

I worked for about three years at the university where I studied; I was a script writer for their educational video department. All those many years, I made several trips to Ukraine, and my biggest “suffering” in life was that God didn’t allow me to go full-time as a missionary. I just knew in my heart He didn’t want it. I didn’t know at that time that He was asking me just to wait a while.

In 2001, God gave me the knowing, the conviction that it was time to go, that it was His will. A small Bible institute in Kiev was asking for an English teacher. I knew that was my job. And so I went a year later, and that is how I met my husband, Vitaliy. He was my student the first year, and we were both teachers the next year, the year we married.

It’s strange to me that the whole time we were dating, I never mentioned to him about home birth or midwifery. They had been interests that were buried in my heart, that resurrected fiercely at times. But he learned about all that when we became pregnant and had our first baby girl. We had a beautiful home birth and he was right there with me—a rare thing for a Ukrainian man.

We’ve been married five years now and have two little daughters and are currently trying to adopt a little handicapped boy named Paul.

To tell you the truth, sometimes I have struggled with anger at God asking why He didn’t lead me to study midwifery when I was single and didn’t have children. It’s become a major obstacle now, having a family. But then I think of several things: He guides us rightly all the time; He guided me on the path that led to marrying Vitaliy and starting our family; He uses my family as a part of my road to midwifery, not the obstacle to it.

I started my studies with Charis in February of 2008; I honestly don’t remember how I even heard of Charis, but it’s been the right program for me. I love self-study, but I lack structure and accountability. Charis is a beautiful, strong vehicle for providing that for me.

Through doing a few birth-related conferences in Kiev (the first in 2007 when my American midwife was here for Victoria’s birth), I started meeting homebirth midwives and other Christians involved in homebirth in Ukraine. I’ve been having some Christian birth materials translated, like Doran Richard’s Maidens By His Design course and Jennifer Vanderlaan’s Lord of Birth and Christian Childbirth Handbook. These precious ladies have given me their jewels freely so I can have them translated and used here.

Charis requires students to teach a childbirth education class, and that opened the way for me to get more involved in our young couples lives’ at church. They are few, but they have attended my classes and really learned a lot. Then they ask me to be their doula. And that has shown me many things about birth in Ukraine.

USAID and WHO are working with the Ukrainian government to try and improve the birth situation. Under Communism, ladies birthed alone, isolated from family for weeks. The baby was taken from them, breastfeeding was not encouraged, and medical practices surrounding birth are horrifying—pulling out the cervix afterwards, stitching with no anesthesia, digging into the vagina during pushing to pull the baby out—those are some of the things that have happened. Oh, and fundal pressure, always fundal pressure—doctors even standing on the beds straddling a woman to push out her baby. Cold water thrown in the mom’s face for not obeying, and terrible scare tactics.

Some of it’s changing. It’s a long road to hoe.

Home birth midwives here do not offer medical care. They give childbirth preparation classes and attend births. They have started having some equipment, like Dopplers, now, but that is sketchy, and their skills vary greatly. They are brave women though, practicing illegally. These days, doctors know they practice and in most cases leave them alone.

Midwifery is my destiny. It’s strange to say that, but I cannot run away from it. Sometimes I hunt it, and sometimes it hunts me. Studying with Charis has opened up a lot of doors for me here.

Last month I took part in a very satisfying homebirth, and I saw a stark illustration of this truth: Caregivers can make all the difference in the world.

I’ve been a doula for two couples in my church, one in a birth house, the other at home. The medical caregivers in both instances became very involved in the process during second and third stages and immediate postpartum. And their words, actions, and attitudes had such an influence on the couple’s birth experience!

For example, pushing. In one setting, the caregivers were negative and critical and performed lots of unnecessary and painful manual manipulations. In the homebirth setting, everyone was positive and encouraging and let the mom labor comfortably. Also, both ladies tore. Stitching was difficult and painful for each, but in the home setting, the midwife waited for the anesthesia to start working, and she explained what she was doing and sympathized with the mother. It still ended up being painful for the mom, but she still went away from birth with happy, positive memories. In the birth house, none of that happened, and the mother was left with unpleasant memories .

Two similar births, but I come away from each with such different emotions—and so do the birthing families! The birth house experience created more emotional “work” for us all to do as we transitioned into life after birth, but the home birth experience is just a joy to remember.

What a great lesson for me on my journey toward becoming a midwife!

Currently, I’m director of Mother’s Hope, the other puzzle piece in my life’s dream. Mother’s Hope is a home for women in crisis pregnancies. Lord willing, we’ll be opening our doors in 2010. Along with that, we also have the opportunity to start a small, private, Christian birth house. It’s a huge and daunting opportunity considering all the funding and legal requirements, but God is able.

Recently I read the story of Israel facing giants going into the Promised Land. They turned back in fear and God punished them. I have my own giants: becoming a midwife, starting Mother’s Hope, and a opening birth house.

But I don’t stand alone. Other Christians, Ukrainian and American, work with me. God will use our faith to overcome the giants and glorify His name.

Victoria, Anne, Vitaliy and Skyla Sokol
 

Our International Charis Family
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