Hello, Charis Family!

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  Women who have lost a baby, however, remember much more often than once a year.  I remember every time my 14 year old son Joel, whose twin is no longer here on earth with us, plays the guitar and sings.  I think about how great their voices would sound together or the songs they would write together.  When Joel was little, I would remember whenever he would say, “If my brother was here, we would…”

During my pregnancy, we suspected that there were two babies, but it was never confirmed until my midwife examined my placenta after delivery and discovered Joel’s twin, a tiny baby who had lived about 15 weeks that had been incorporated into the placenta.  He had his own little amniotic sac and could fit in the palm of my hand.  We named Joel’s twin Stephen.  We’re looking forward to seeing him when we get to heaven.  I’m certain we’ll recognize him.

It wasn’t until after losing a baby that I found out how many of the women I know had also lost babies.  Many have miscarried.  Some have lost several babies.  Some of their babies had been stillborn.  Some of their babies died in their arms just after giving birth.  Some have never carried a baby to term.  These are stories that women keep to themselves until someone they know is grieving the loss of their own baby.  The stories are very sad, so they don’t tell them in social settings for fear of dampening the good mood.  They are quietly held in the hearts of mothers. That’s right, MOTHERS.  Every woman who has conceived a baby is a mother.  She nurtured and loved that baby for however long that baby grew, so she is a mother even if she does not get to nurse her baby, teach him how to read, or help her pick out a wedding gown.

So, this month, as we remember the babies who are no longer with us, I also want to acknowledge the mothers who love those babies and grieve their loss.  The loss of a child is near and dear to the heart of Father God. He knows the ache and brings the peace, comfort, and healing that we need.

Love and Blessings,
Kristin Schuchmann, CPM, LM
Executive Director, Charis Childbirth, Inc.