The Secret Power Behind the Childbirth Professional

Part Three

By Todd Schuchmann

The Living is in the Dying

In the classic story, Charlotte’s Web, a tale is woven which touches the heart of virtually every reader. One little pig named Wilbur learns his value through life lessons and the inspiring relationship with one little spider, Charlotte. Through the story, Charlotte shares her wisdom and encouragement with Wilbur and, consequently, the pig becomes famous. In the end of the story, though, the real lesson is learned. One night Charlotte spends all night and all her energy on one last web. She says good bye to Wilbur and then passes away. The pig, saddened by the spider’s departure, does not understand and wallows instead of being his normal champion self. Then one day Charlotte’s web has new activity as her children hatch and exclaim their arrival to the pig. Overjoyed, the pig begins a fresh new relationship with Charlotte’s children. Wilbur and the readers all learn that the greatest rewards in life come not from our living but from our laying our lives down for others.

 

Jesus knew this. We see this in His death for us on the cross. He also taught on this while he was on the earth. He said it this way in John 15:13 (NKJV) “Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” In saying this, Jesus is revealing one of the greatest keys of the Kingdom, which I believe is this: a life worth living is found in dying. Now I am not talking about physical death, but a death of rights. I am to make sacrifices in my life so others may benefit. I am to go without so others may have. I am to serve so others may benefit. I am to give so others may receive. I am to love so others will know God loves them. Jesus reiterates this thought in Matthew 16:25, “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” In short, “The Living is in the Dying.”

“Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” My wife Kristin and I were talking the other night and reminiscing about our lives before we were married. We talked about our journey towards each other, the feelings we had for each another, and how the Lord orchestrated our relationship as if he were directing a great symphony. From that conversation, one thought was distilled. We both married our best friend. The majority of time we spent together prior to getting married was in groups and in environments where we could watch each other respond to various circumstances and situations. We got to see each other’s character and we really liked what we saw. As time went on, we became best friends. Even today, there is no one on this planet with whom I would rather spend my time. Kristin is my friend and each day provides new opportunities to sacrifice for her benefit. “Greater love has no man than this, than to lay one’s life down for his friends.”

The Bible is quite clear that the relationship between a husband and a wife is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. In Ephesians 5:25-33, the apostle Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that he may sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (NKJV)

Jesus laid his life down for us, so I, as a husband, am to lay my life down for my wife. In the middle of the night if she is thirsty, I get up and get the water. If I am watching a TV show and my wife needs help, the TV gets shut off and my wife gets priority. If I am working and my wife needs me, I work on my own time and she comes first. If I want to come home and rest, but I find that my wife is exhausted as well, it is I who cleans so she can rest. If I want to check out for the evening, but she wants to talk, she gets my ear. If my wife has a dream, it is I who fuel that dream and put my plans on hold to see hers come to pass. This is laying down one’s life for a friend.

God is that way with us. Yes, God is awesome. Yes, God is Holy. Yes, God is an all consuming fire. But that is what makes our relationship with Him even more amazing. The God of the whole universe, maker of heaven and earth, all powerful, and all knowing stops and turns His ear to me when I seek Him. He meets me for secret dates. He talks with me as I walk through my day. He whispers to me songs of love as I go to sleep at night. He meets me in the morning when I rise with cup of hot mercy. I am His friend. “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15. He laid His life down for me. “Greater love has no man than this, than to lay one’s life down for his friends.”

Some men may wonder, “If I do this, if I lay down my life for my wife, what’s the benefit for me?” If the motivation to sacrificially serve one’s wife is done from any motivation other than selfless, giving love, then the heart behind the service is not pure and benefits may never be seen. We are to trust the fruit of our labor to the Lord and believe that God will reward in due time. Although the cross was a struggle for Jesus (remember His prayer in the garden before he was arrested), he did it anyway because of the kind of love that boggles the mind of any person who would dare ponder it. Because Jesus completely trusted Father God to take care of Him, he could let go and take care of us. Men, we can trust God completely. Matthew 16:27 gives us assurance of the fact that we will be rewarded: “For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works.”

We do have the potential of reaping very sweet benefits while here on earth. Women, by design, are responders. Wives respond to their husbands. When a wife is cared for by a loving, giving husband, it makes it MUCH easier for her to be the wife of his dreams.

Husbands, I charge you to join me in this adventure of service to our wives. It is this life of service to them that is one of the most important ingredients in a fulfilling marriage. It is also one of the secret powers behind the successful childbirth professional. She is empowered as you encourage and support her in her unique calling.

We can love because Christ first loved us and laid his life down for us. As we have received this example from the Lord, let us go and do likewise.


One more thing, please do not think this type of life can be lived in our own strength. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit breathed into our life daily through a close intimate relationship with Him that enables us to sacrifice our lives for our wives. We also need support from other like-minded men, a band of brothers, who can pick us up when we fall, pray us through when we are weak, and wake us up when we are asleep.

Please pray and bring your heart before the Lord and recognize that this life cannot be lived apart from Him. Only by yielding to the Father can you be filled with the power to live this life of service.

With love and the grace of our Lord Jesus,

Todd



A note from Kristin: It is true that Todd endeavors to lay his life down for me each and every day. I am so blessed! It makes me want to find ways to bless him as well. When each spouse lives to bless the other, both are fulfilled. The converse is so sad: When each spouse is “looking out for number one”, neither is ever truly fulfilled in life or in marriage. So, let’s start a “bless you” war in our homes! Try to out bless your spouse and see what happens. If you do, please send in testimonies of the results. It would be an encouragement to the rest of us!