Dear Charis family,

Recently God has answered a prayer request I’ve had for a long time by meeting a deep need I’ve been having for fellowship. I’ve discovered that the enemy has a much easier time whispering his lies and getting us to believe them when he gets us by ourselves, isolated and alone. It’s been his strategy since the very first woman!

Lately I’ve been able to regularly attend a women’s Bible study with several wonderful women. It’s amazing how we all have our own battles to fight and burdens to carry, but what a difference it makes to have sisters to shoulder the load and carry it with us, through a listening ear, a sympathetic heart, prayer, and understanding.

Recently in our Bible study we were reading Exodus 18 and these words from the wise Jethro to his son-in-law Moses hit me hard – “Why do you sit alone?...What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone.”

Why is it that so often we women think that being superwoman means doing everything alone? We not only wear ourselves out, but when we allow ourselves to become exhausted and drained physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, it affects those “with us” as well, starting with our own families, especially the littlest members. It’s just another deception of the enemy that ultimately renders us so weary and broken down that we become much less effective in impacting our families and the rest of the world in a positive way for the glory of God. It occurred to me that even the famous Proverbs 31 woman had maids. Yes, she accomplishes a head spinning amount of good for her family and her community, but she does not do it alone! Part of the wisdom she is praised for is knowing how to delegate her tasks as she treats those she delegates them to with kindness.

As doulas, midwives, and women who believe in empowering women in general, we understand the importance of supporting each other. “Sitting alone” is not good, is not wise, and is not even Biblical. Jethro went as far as saying it is not possible! Where did we ever get this silly idea that it is!?

I have learned so much through Charis, and from our amazing Kristin Schuchmann herself on this very topic. I had such a hard and frustrating recovery after my third baby was born because for a long time I refused to listen to Kristin’s wisdom or to honor her sacrifice by accepting her help. I believed the lie that being superwoman meant getting up out of bed and back to work as soon as possible instead of affording others the blessing of loving on me and my family by caring for us during such a precious time. I think women sometimes don’t realize how often we rob others of the JOY of giving by preventing them from serving us. But I learned my lesson well and after our fourth baby was born almost 2 months ago, I accepted all the help I could get. I took full advantage of the sweet days and weeks I could just rest and snuggle all my babies all day long, completely guilt free, all thanks to the women in my Bible study, a dear Kenyan friend, and my amazing sister who flew across the world with her two year old to come serve us.

It has come to my attention that I’m not the only one who struggles with this. It seems like every friend and family member I have who is of childbearing age had a baby this summer! In my family alone we welcomed FIVE sweet new baby girls in just a matter of weeks! I’ve been talking to many of these mamas about the importance of resting and the life-long consequences of failing to do so. But it seems so ingrained in us that we need to be “tough” and foolishness is disguised as strength. I see American mamas posting pictures of themselves with their newborn in a jogging stroller, going for a run 3 days postpartum! Or bragging about being up and about just a couple hours after giving birth. Resting and allowing our bodies to recover is not weakness, it’s wisdom! God is all about unity, working together, and carrying each other’s burdens, but we seem to struggle to accept it both postpartum and throughout the rest of life. In Galatians 6:3 God says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” It’s a COMMAND that we not only shoulder the burdens of others, but that we allow them to shoulder ours. Why? Because He knows that a healthy Body is much more effective than a Body that has parts that are sick or weak. The enemy is no fool. He knows if he can trick us mamas into thinking it’s noble to wear out our bodies, hearts, and souls by carrying what is too heavy for us to carry alone, it SIGNIFICANTLY weakens the Body as a whole and greatly impacts all who are “with us.” Research shows that when mothers are healthier, their families are healthier, and their entire communities benefit and are better off. So it seems a smart strategy for the enemy to convince women to take themselves out.

In Genesis 11 God says that when we are united, nothing will be impossible for us. As wise women we must recognize and practice the power of not only supporting other women, but also in accepting support for ourselves. We are not able to do it alone. And I’m so thankful that we can’t. I’m so thankful that God designed us to need each other.