“Show-Quality”

What is it with men and cars?  Even as young boys, Hot Wheels, racing, and remote control cars hold such a fascination.  We men usually know the hottest new automobile models and some of us even know all the specifications.  This car does 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds with a top speed of 195 mph.  Its’ dual action super wham-o-dine suspension and over the top excess-o-torque-a-matic transmission make driving this baby a real dream.

Guys get together in parking lots all over the country to bring their “baby” for all to see.  They have spent the last two days shining every component to see-your-reflection brilliance.  The engines have been tuned and, when the key is turned, purr like a happy kitten.  There is not a speck of dirt anywhere to be found and, like a proud parent, the owner soaks in all the accolades from admiring automobile fans.

Well, I believe it is God who designed men to want to show off their “prize”, but the Bible indicates that it was not for the sake of showing off cars or things like that, but something else much more worthwhile, as we find in Ephesians 5.  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.  So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.”  Eph 5:25-29

We have been discussing the "Secret Power Behind the Childbirth Professional" and how the love and support of the husband or close friends can empower the childbirth professional in her calling. This month we continue that theme by studying this passage in Ephesians chapter 5.   In this passage the Lord shows us how He relates to the Church and wants to show her off, “show-quality” for the entire world to see.  More appropriately for our discussion, He equates Himself with husbands and the Church with wives.  He wants men to prepare their wives through nourishing and cherishing for a glorious presentation and, consequently, to prepare them for success in whatever God has called them.  

So how do we help our wives to really shine?  I think the first key is to really know them.  The passage above states we are to love our wives as our own bodies.  Why do weight rooms and work out rooms have mirrors on the walls?  Let me give you hint, it is not for the ladies.  We men love to admire ourselves, especially when we begin to put on a little muscle.  This is very sad, but true.  We love to “know” ourselves.  Likewise, before a car enthusiast restores an automobile for show, he learns everything he can about his car so the restoration will be authentic.  So men, do we know our wives like we know our own bodies?  Do we know them like we know the workings of our car’s engine?  Without this knowledge we will not effectively cherish and nourish them.

This brings up another question.  How do we get to know our wives?  Listening, engaging in conversation, and allowing what concerns our wives to concern us is a starting point.  I pray and ask the Lord to reveal to me the heart of my wife.  He is a good Father and wants the best for His daughter and is always there to help me in my endeavor to know my wife more deeply.  The shelves of Christian bookstores are also lined with books that can help with this, but even better is to just ask our wives for help in getting to know them better.  If we provide a safe place for them to share, they will love the adventure of growing in intimacy.  One warning guys, if you truly want to know her, treat whatever your wife shares with gentleness and humility.  She wants to be known, but only by one who will cherish her and protect her.  Proverbs 31 states the virtuous wife is worth far more than rubies.  What in your life is valuable like a ruby?  How would you care for that?  Of even greater value is your wife!

Once we begin to know our wives and their needs, the second key to help our wives shine is to nourish them.  Though there are many ways we can nourish our wives-- time spent, encouragement given, sacrifices made for them, and rest provided for them-- the context of the verse in Ephesians is “washing” with the water of the Word.  The word washing here means to bathe.  And here, men, we need a little enlightening. 

I love my shower in the morning; it helps wake me up and invigorates me for another day.  But to me, a shower is just a step in order to get to my next task or event.  My wife, however, views showers or baths in an entirely different way.  To my wife, the bath or shower is The Event.  Just go into Bed, Bath, & Beyond, Bath and Body Works, or review an Arbonne catalog and look at all the items available for women to indulge themselves in the art of bathing.  It is mind boggling but, personally, I would have it no other way!  The point is, we are not to shower our wives with the Word of God like we would hose down our car at the car wash.  We are to gently and lovingly caress the Word of God into her life in a nourishing fashion.  Like bath oils which slowly soak into the skin or an aromatherapy candle which fills the entire room with a relaxing fragrance, we are to fill our home with the Word of God.  First through our actions, strength, and gentleness, and then through our words, are we to nourish, immerse, and bathe our wives in God’s Word for them.

Now, guys, we can’t possibly wash our wives with the water of the Word if our well is dry!  It is important for us to actually spend time with God in His Word in order to have that Word available, “hidden in our heart”, whenever we need it.  It would be tough for our wives to physically bathe if we had to run out to the store to buy her a new bath product every time she needed a shower.  The Word of God needs to be part of us so that it constantly flows out in words and deeds that will “wash her in the water of the word”.  Whatever is in us will come out!  If we aren’t filling up with the Word, then what may come spilling out our mouths, the things we haphazardly do, or our thoughtless inaction won’t show God’s heart toward our wives!

When a husband knows his wife and knows God’s Word, day in and day out he will be able to constantly pour on her refreshment and nourishment even if he isn’t quoting scripture and verse.  His words and actions toward her will reflect God’s heart toward her, and that will draw her even closer to her husband and to God himself.  As she draws closer to God, she becomes more like Jesus and “shines” even brighter for Him. 

Other ways to nourish and encourage her through the Word may include reading the Word together, working through a devotional together, or praying the Word over her.  At our house, we also like bouncing our thoughts concerning a theological topic off each other, which usually leads us to digging deeper in the Word as we seek Truth.  Whatever the method we choose, it is our attitude, strength, and gentleness with our wives that will make all the difference.

The third key to helping our wives shine is to cherish them.  In our passage, the Greek word for “cherish” means to warm, brood, and foster.  Webster very clearly explains what cherish means when he states that it is “to treat with tenderness and affection; to give warmth, ease or comfort to.”  He also describes cherish as “to hold as dear; to embrace with affection; to foster, and encourage and to treat in a manner to encourage growth, by protection, aid, attendance, or supplying nourishment.”  Lastly, he describes cherish as “to harbor, indulge and encourage in the mind.”  Not much more could be added to those definitions that could explain any better how we cherish our wives.  Now, read the descriptions again.  This time more slowly and picture how each aspect of cherishing can be implemented into your marriage.   

To cherish is to:

treat with tenderness and affection
give warmth, ease or comfort to hold as dear
embrace with affection
foster and encourage
treat in a manner to encourage growth, by protection, aid, attendance, or supplying nourishment. 
harbor, indulge and encourage in the mind

Remember Proverbs 31- she is worth far more than rubies! 

 

Men, as we know, nourish, and cherish our wives they will become more beautiful each and every day.  Like flowers receiving the fresh rain and the new sunlight of spring they will bloom into the mighty women of God our Father wants them to be.  One day we will present them to Him without spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish; truly glorious, “show-quality!”

With grace and love,

Todd