If a midwife loves anything in this world, I would say she loves life.  Vibrant, thriving, natural, healthy, life.  We are guardians of life.  Ushers of life.  Advocates for life.  So the past many many months I have been and felt COMPLETLEY out of my element as I’ve spent nearly every waking moment at the hospital, surrounded by death and the dying.  Technically, death is out of a midwife’s scope of practice and having to stare its sting in the face day after day after day sure makes me appreciate and love a ministry of life more than ever.

The same Pastor who I wrote about in last month's Charis newsletter is named Pastor Ben.  He was in a horrible car accident 3 months ago, just 6 days after I spent the day with him that I wrote about.  He was paralyzed in the accident and after a couple weeks in the hospital suffered a stroke that left him in a coma.  He had been in ICU since and we have been with him and his family keeping vigil and trying to help ease the many logistical burdens almost every single day.  Many times people passed away right in front of us while we were at the hospital.  It was excruciating watching the loved ones weep and display their raw, unbridled grief.  Often we’d become friends with the loved ones of other ICU patients.  There’s a comradely that develops when you’re all going through something so traumatic.  It was devastating to see the suffering and an honor to offer the love and hope of Jesus where we could – by example, in action, and in word.  But in the back of my heart I always knew our day for mourning might come and I dreaded it.  I jumped every time my phone rang, thinking it could be “the call.”  And then it happened.  Last week I got a late night call from the doctor saying that we needed to get to the hospital immediately.  I expected the worst.  It felt like an eternity before I finally arrived in the ICU wing I regrettably now know so well.  I could hear the Pastor’s wife wailing from the door and I knew my worst fear was confirmed.  Many of their spiritual children stood outside the door, silent, with tears running down every face.  I joined them.

Pastor Ben had been more of a father to my husband than his biological father ever was.  He was the first man to ever hug my husband and tell him he loved him.  He was the first man to see greatness in my husband.  He led my husband to the Lord when my husband was a VERY lost 16 year old boy, and sent my husband to Bible school, where I met him.  A couple years later he presided over our marriage. 

Pastor Ben and his wife with Martin and I on our wedding day.

He was the closest person to a father-in-law I’ve ever had.  God has used Pastor Ben to single handedly play probably the biggest role in facilitating my life being all that it is today.  It is a HUGE loss to us personally and a massive blow to the entire East African community.  The Vice President of Kenya will be presiding over a memorial service for Pastor Ben tomorrow.  Pastor Ben touched hundreds of thousands of lives all over the world.  He has overseen the planting of hundreds of churches. 

Pastor Ben telling people about Jesus at an evangelistic crusade.

He has opened many orphanages and feeding stations for the needy.  He has led thousands and thousands to the Lord and has personally discipled many of them.  He has three young daughters and a beautiful wife he has left behind.  He was only 51 years old.  I was convinced he was the kind of guy who would grow to be a super old, decrepit great grandpa.

Pastor Ben's wife and daughters.

As believers, the blow of death is greatly softened.  Because of Jesus’ unfathomable work of love on the cross, we know we’ll see Pastor Ben again soon.  It’s only that he’s gone home ahead of us, and to be honest, I’m pretty jealous that he is free from this world and dancing with Jesus this very moment.  I am so thankful and excited that one day I’ll join them.  I’ve come to realize that when the Bible says, “Oh death, where is your sting?” it’s refereeing to the dead.  There is no sting for Pastor Ben.  He is free from his broken body, the burdens and sorrows of this world, and he is home where he has always belonged.  But his homegoing stings for those of us left behind, still waiting and still homesick.  His leaving will leave an unfillable void in our hearts and in this world.  We will miss him every day for the rest of our lives.  But we will finish out our days on this earth striving to honor him and honor God by carrying on the work he taught us to do.

We say our final goodbye this weekend, and then, the circle of life continues.  While Pastor Ben was still fighting for his life in the hospital, we found out God has blessed us with another sweet baby, due mid-June.  We are so thankful and so blessed.  Our three children are ecstatic.  Maybe if it’s a boy, we’ll name him Ben.

Dearest Pastor Ben in the hospital.

Note from Editor:  Pastor Ben passed away on Nov 3.
Please pray with us for his friends and family as they grieve the loss.