About Birth

Modesty For Pregnant Women
By: Misty Roberts, Founder of Medical Patient Modesty

Many people falsely assume that women don’t care about their modesty during childbirth because they are in too much pain, but that is simply not true.  There are many women who feel that their modesty during childbirth is extremely important.  Some women and husbands don’t want a male ob/gyn or any other male medical professional to be present for the birth of their baby.  All too often families have their wishes for modesty violated as they gave birth.  The birth of your child should be a joyful time and it's tragic how violations of modesty have made birth experiences traumatic.  Even female ob/gyns can be insensitive.  Many have ignored our wishes for privacy and allow medical students to be present for all parts of birth even when asked otherwise. 

Home (or birthing center) births with a midwife attending is an excellent choice for women with low risk pregnancies.  Giving birth is a natural function, not an acute illness.  You are often treated like a sick patient at the hospital, while home birth is much more natural.  You are free to eat, drink, and walk around.  You choose who is there with you – family, friends, or neighbors.  There are no externally-imposed visiting hours in your home, before, during, or after the birth.  Women's wishes for modesty in hospital settings are disregarded routinely.  Unnecessary medical interventions are common.  The list is huge, but a few examples are: too many pelvic examinations, episiotomies and unnecessary C-sections.  Medical students strive to do as many pelvic exams as they can for their requirements and many women are taken off guard because they have medical students coming into their room uninvited doing these invasive exams and other procedures without asking.  Midwives do fewer pelvic exams and always ask first.  With respect for you as a laboring woman, you will reduce your chance of having these unnecessary interventions.

If you choose an out-of-hospital birth, look for an appropriate back-up plan, preferably with an all-female ob/gyn practice to deliver your baby. Make it clear to your midwife that you don't want a male gynecologist.  Many midwives even do breast examinations, pap smears, gynecological examinations, and even some procedures for women who are not pregnant.

For a planned hospital birth, (or unplanned as in the case of a transport from home or birth center), if a birthing mother wishes for an all female team and maintain that her husband is the only man present, she will need to choose an all-female ob/gyn practice that doesn't rotate with other practices of male doctors.  Keep in mind that all doctors in a practice rotate.  There are wonderful female ob/gyns in mixed practices, but you won't be guaranteed a female ob/gyn in a mixed practice.  

Discuss with your ob/gyn your desires for an all-female medical team for the birth of your baby.  You should also visit the hospital and meet the nurses, let them know your desires.  Remember that the team may consist of the female ob/gyn doctor, nurses, anesthesiologist and/or nurse anesthetists, and surgical scrub technician.  If you need an epidural, you will need an anesthesiologist.  It's best if your team consists of all females, a female anesthesiologist or nurse anesthetist.  Many hospitals employ at least a few nurse anesthetists.  Nurse anesthetists are often able to administer anesthesia without an anesthesiologist.  If it isn't possible, speak to the doctor and nurses and request that they keep your private parts covered while the anesthesiologist or anesthetist is present to protect your dignity and modesty.  If you must have a Cesarean Section, you will be required to have a catheter inserted.  You should ask that the male anesthesiologist or anesthetist stay out of the room until all of the prepping for surgery including insertion of the urinary catheter has been done. 

There are a number of wonderful all female ob/gyn practices in the United States that work hard to accommodate patients’ wishes for an all female team.

Create a birth plan.  Make sure that you include who you want to have present.  If you don't want medical students or male medical professionals to be present, indicate that on your birth plan.   Make sure you come up with a plan in case the unexpected happens.   One web site that offers a good example of a birth plan is:   http://www.birthplan.com/

Consider hiring a doula to provide support during your labor.  She is an advocate who can speak up for your wishes about modesty if you are birthing in the hospital.

One of the goals of "Medical Patient Modesty" is to help women succeed in having a respectful, all female team and be more assured of having modesty protected.  We hope to educate medical professionals, including female gynecologists, about the importance of patient modesty and how they can protect a women’s dignity and make a hospital birth more joyful.  A number of hospitals in the United States, especially rural areas, have mostly male ob/gyns and few (or no) female ob/gyns.  We consider this is a very serious problem.  Many women don’t want a male gynecologist to deliver their baby and feel very abused by most of them.  Far too many hospitals cannot assure families that their desires for modesty will be met.  We want to contact those hospitals and set up dialogue about this issue. All hospitals should offer this choice for women, to be able to birth with a woman.  We are also reaching out to help women and their husbands learn how they can stand up for their rights to modesty in medical settings.

Medical Patient Modesty also addresses male patient modesty because many men also value their modesty in medical settings.  There are many men who feel uncomfortable with female nurses doing intimate procedures such as urinary catheterizations.  You can read more about our other goals on Medical Patient Modesty’s web site:  http://www.patientmodesty.org/.

Medical Patient Modesty is still in its beginning stages and we welcome volunteers to join in with us and help.  If you're passionate about promoting stronger medical patient modesty, please contact us at info@patientmodesty.org.  We're currently looking for a midwife and a doula in Western North Carolina, Upstate South Carolina, Tennessee, or North Georgia to serve as a volunteer board member for Medical Patient Modesty.  Please feel free to share any suggestions about how we can expand, work and succeed to promote stronger medical patient modesty.

Many thanks, Misty Roberts