Charis Around the World

Tidbits from Ebony
by Elizabeth Carmichael

This month, I have been contemplating issues of control.  I have a few "tidbits" for you from every-day life,  that include some of these thoughts.  Please do pray for the women AND men in this very remote, very Northern province I'm writing you from, in Ebony.  They are encountering foreigners for the first time as well as some new ways to think about health and birth. As they try to walk forward in things they've learned, they will need your prayers so much.

Thanks for being my "Family," Charis.  I think of all of you often and am very grateful for our connection with each other.
In Him,
E.C.

Learning about birth in a group setting

Most ladies who attend the training are literate or semi-literate.   This lady was so proud to show me her ability to read and write!  But, the course is designed for illiterate men and women.  The  trainers have the special challenge of passing on life saving  information through methods of adult education that they are not used to.

Making babies! Not the old fashioned way, though. These ladies are stuffing patterns of baby dolls, placentas and umbilical cords with cotton so that they can use these items in their childbirth lessons. It is important to teach them about ways to use the resources available to them already in order to creatively teach birth. Constantly providing them with items from outside their culture or country creates a dependency upon those donations, which inhibits the spread of knowledge. When they use their own resources and are taught activities that are reproducible in almost any setting around the country, they are encouraged, empowered and they know that THEY can do this work...... rather than leaving it all up to the "foreigner."

"BISMALLAH!" ("In the name of God!")

This was the cry issuing forth in desperation out from under the blue fabric of completely veiled women in the car as the driver punched the gas and we headed further up the cliff's trail, looking out over the drop off into the swift, brown waters below.  Men and women in this part of the world often attempt to control circumstances or the spiritual realm (and, sometimes, the physical realm) by participating in religious ritual.  Saying this phrase is a protection ritual.  I guess it worked, because we didn't land in the river! Just kidding.

In attending this new round of childbirth education classes in yet another remote part of the country, I have been pondering the many ways we try to control our students, control our programs, control another person's learning. Yet, there is a dynamic quality to the learning process, something individual and uncontrollable that wants to be awaken and inspired....and, if so, will change the student inside and out until they own and value their lessons.

We are so prone to SAY we trust the learning process, trust our clients' choices and their bodies, trust those we mentor, yet there is much temptation to try to control them and the circumstances surrounding them.  It usually isn't until I see this in others that I am able to see it in myself.  We can easily become blinded by our own pride, much to the detriment of those we intend to teach.  What is the best way for adults to learn new things?  Is "Madame Control" an effective change agent or just a comfort and coping mechanism for the teacher, director, midwife?  Are we setting people up to fail because we insist on forcing the learning process to follow our agenda and timing?

Just to be clear, I am not referring to any experience with Charis!  I'm thankful for mentors in my life, and especially in childbirth learning, who are just the opposite of what I am describing...and sometimes I feel they are just the opposite of ME in their confident humility!  May I learn, may I change and become more like them and more like HIM every day. :-)

On The Cutting of Cords

In a past Charis Newsletter, we saw an important article about waiting to clamp the umbilical cord.  Well, how would you like to wait two months?!  I didn't think so!

One of the stories brought up by the MEN'S group this week in the Childbirth life-saving skills course is a story of great success in health care for their village.  At least, this is what the men believe.  They argued for nearly thirty minutes with a Western family-practice doctor and two other male health educators about the "fact" that, for a premature baby, it is very important to leave the cord and placenta attached to the baby until the baby has reached his or her full term date. When asked the basic Dr. Phil question of  -  "So, how's that workin' for ya?" - their response was that some of the babies DO die, yes.   But, they know it is the right thing to do because, in this village, two premature babies were born at the same time.  The people then decided to take on a risky experiment.  With one baby, they cut the cord immediately. With the other baby, they left everything attached, wrapped the placenta with cotton (probably very dirty) and the baby lived. It is still unclear to those leading the class (because of language issues) as to whether the "baby who lived" is still alive today.

When imagining this scenario, you must not imagine a placenta obsessed family in the clean, sanitized West just doing something a little "different" , such as a Lotus Birth.  You must imagine the worst possible hygienic conditions, babies who are fed dirty water with sugar in it right from the start because mother's milk is deemed as "sour/rotten" for the first three days, and very little understanding of anything scientific, including critical thinking and problem solving skills. Because of these scary conditions, it is widely accepted among the health community in the developing work (those from the West who are working to certify and education the population and the health care professionals in these countries) that cords should be clamped and cut immediately after birth. The risk for infection just seems to be too high for them to consider anything else. I still haven't figured out the balance in issues like this.  Yet, the horror stories from the villages continue to pour in.  It occurs to me how much we are controlled by our fear.  And, it occurs to me how much their basic health understanding is controlled by 1. the decisions of the male population and 2. random "experiences" which seem to prove the "logic" for certain health care choices.

Strange Statements

In an advocacy piece about a specific health care initiative in Ebony, a woman wrote these two sentences to report the great success of the program:

"One man stated that he had previously not had any concern for the laboring women in his household and thought that the woman should be left alone because the birth would happen naturally. But now he realizes his own responsibility as a man to make sure the women in his household are properly cared for and provided for during this important process and stage of life."

Now, I realize the problems in this country that she is attempting to address in her description.  Those ARE real problems and there truly has been a harmful view of the birthing process and assistance for mothers. Yet, the word choice in this statement pierced my heart and I thought it was an important depiction of what is going on in developing countries as highly institutionalized, highly beaurocratic, highly Western, highly American groups provide the money and man-power to "redefine birth" in the developing world. This movement from the Western world is just as controlling, just as misinformed with regard to evidence based practice, and just as disappointing if not MORE-SO when people who are not specifically childbirth professionals (like the woman who wrote the above paragraph) get caught up in the American institutional definition of birth as unnatural, something to be managed and monitored incessantly, something they should never do at home and something women can't possibly do without intervention.  How can I make an impact without being overly controlling myself?  How can I defend the poor and uneducated who are desperate to just swallow whatever they are "fed" by the international community?  Is the Midwifery Model of Care really possible here? How can we encourage other international aid workers to move towards evidence based care?   These are all still questions and considerations I am just trusting are under HIS control.

Mr. Flower

Terrorists control whole populations and communities with fear and intimidation.  Thank you for thinking of and lifting up Mr. Flower and his family since I mentioned them in the last Charis newsletter.  Mrs. Flower has recovered from her infection.

Unfortunately, the Flowers have had a very, very tragic event in their lives recently.  Recently, one daughter was given in marriage to a man in the South of the country and the family returned from a harrowing trip to and from that area (they were questioned by armed "bad guys" along the road and in the village). Just after they returned, they received word that another daughter had been in the midst of an explosion by terrorists in their home town.  She died from severe injuries to her torso and she had lost one hand.  Her husband was with her and also lost one hand.  His mother also sustained significant injuries.  They have two very small children.

It was such a gift to see Mrs. Flower upon her return from the funeral in the South of the country....to hold her and weep with her.

The other day, I was standing at my front door talking to Mr. Flower and I started to feel like I was going to pass out.  I think I was dehydrated or just too hot at that moment.  I had to just say "I am sick."  Mr. Flower could tell something was very wrong and came as close as he could dare to with his cultural background. He looked at me so intensely and said, "What can I do?!  How can I help, sister?!"  I had to just literally close the door in his face and go sit down.  He is not allowed into the house, nor is he allowed to touch me in this culture.  If I had fallen, I am not sure what he would have felt able to do.  It is SO restrictive and SO ingrained in everyone to follow these rules. Families would rather kill their own family members than lose their honor over even slightly breaking a cultural rule governing the interactions of men and women.  I returned to the front door as soon as I could and found Mr. Flower squatted down on the ground crying.  I know he must have been thinking of his daughter and processing some of his own feelings of helplessness and grief in that moment.  I felt so bad for causing him pain. He was glad I was OK, but he couldn't stop crying, so he walked away to his area of the compound and I left him along for a while.  He is a sweet, sweet man.

Please pray for the Flowers to be free from the control, influence and destruction of evil forces.

Here is a portion of a blog entry written by my housemate who is also in connection with the Flowers and who also had to view pictures of Mr. Flower's dead daughter that he insisted on showing us:

"The pictures he showed me were not of his daughter in happy days, but pictures of her in her death shroud before being buried.  As I was looking at this man and had the photos of his dead daughter in my hand I wanted to take a picture of him holding up the image of his daughter, I wanted to make it impactful somehow, to draw attention to the real people whose bodies are ripped apart by IED's here and whose families get used to losing people."

Tom S. (a friend) did that with the following poem:

"Blown"

I wheeled my mind through sandy streets envisaged the scene,
the multiple beats of heart and mind and duties bound
sacrifice, service, all that’s woundin the wire and dust, chemical
equations
the call to commit, religious persuasions
that evoke a fight beyond tangible means
the encompassing essence to which one leans
blinding emotion, of birth and death
leaves a heart, no solace, bereft
searching reason, no reason I find
only the cobbles that bump the ride
the delicate, intricate, hidden and sealed
awaiting a trigger, a figure, a yield
the corpses of war, the ghosts of peace
dance together upon tarmacadam streets
that lead and function, guide and save
the sons of material, daughters deprave
that serve a purpose unto themselves
secure a voice, mute, that tells
of nihilistic virtue, dressed in ink
a tick, tick, boom, incapacity to think
for distance silences realities unknown
sweaty thumb, depression,
sanctity
blown.

Tom S. 4th July 2010