Charis Around the World

Tidbits From Ebony

Dear Charis Family,

As many of you know, my "Tidbits From Ebony" haven't been coming "from Ebony" for several months now. My team and I are still displaced in other countries. This past month, another friend of ours was brutally murdered. We are so grieved by this and have found ourselves back in a state of bewilderment as to what God is doing. Thankfully, we have many supportive people around us who provide us with love, encouragement and quality member care. Without this, I don't know how we would make it.

Please consider committing to a season of prayer for me and for my team this month. We are setting aside each Sunday to fast and pray. We are seeking the Lord's guidance for our next steps, the next area we will be sent to in order to reach out and be a Light to Pushpin people. During the week of Thanksgiving in the United States, we will be gathering at a retreat. It will be the first time we have been together since the end of February. We will be grieving together, worshipping together, praying together and talking about how to move forward. Please cover us with prayer for that time. We want to hear and discern the Lord's will and we want, most of all, to experience the healing power of His presence with us.

TEENY'S STORY

Last month, I spoke about Teeny, a Filipina woman whom I am serving as her doula and childbirth educator. Thank you for praying for her this month!! She gave birth to a beautiful 7 lb 4 oz baby girl named "Love."

 Send, Teeny and baby Love

Teeny's birth was, by far, the most challenging for me as a doula. I was permitted admittance "where no man (or doula) has gone before"--the labor and delivery room of a government hospital in the Philippines! Now, I'm not  sure if no other doula has gone in to one of these hospitals, but they are so strict about it, that I am taking the freedom to assume! Because Teeny had a private and influential doctor, we are praising the Lord because he made sure I was able to stay with her through her labor. I am not sure how much help I was, but Teeny's mother (Auntie Fanny) is adamant that, if I hadn't been with Teeny, she would have certainly had an unnecessary cesarean.

The first hours of Teeny's labor were a beautiful experience. Just what you would hope for and want for a client. We were at home, up in the little apartment she and her husband share. Teeny was eating and drinking, changing positions with the help of her husband, receiving massages from myself, her husband and her mother. She was calm and peaceful. Worship music playing in the background. Teeny's husband, Send, was extremely attentive and effective in his support. I felt like I had the easiest job in the world because all I had to do was sit back and watch him labor along with her in the manner we had practice for the weeks leading up to this day! They were beautiful together. I felt so honored and privileged to be a part of their lives in this way.

It was going so well at home that I almost hated to go to the hospital....I know many of you know the feeling. But, this family had chosen a hospital birth because there were no skilled midwives available for a home birth. We waited at home until Teeny's contractions were strong enough that she felt she should go. She wanted to arrive at the hospital and have time to settle in before they got to the point where she needed to really concentrate on each contraction and work to relax. Teeny's mother and father were also quite nervous and felt better about heading to the hospital early.

I hesitate to write every detail of the experience. In one sense, I want to share with you what goes on here....I want to expose the needs for skilled doulas and midwives in the third world. But, on the other hand, I don't want to disrespect Teeny's choice or unnecessarily cast a bad light on her culture and home country.

Teeny was sent to the emergency room first. This was a dark room with a concrete floor. There were three beds in the room--one of them already occupied by a woman who sounded like her baby was about five minutes away from his or her first birthday party! Teeny laid on a leather bed that still had dirty spots on it from the patient before. Blood  splatter speckled the  walls and "biohazard" bins overflowed with their contents. I turned to my team mate who had come along to support us and I said, "Are we in Ebony?!" She replied, "It's even better than Ebony!"

Teeny was examined by a nurse and told that she was only 4cm. This was a great disappointment to us because she had wanted to wait much longer at home before entering the  hospital. I am still processing this experience and going through the emotions of "failure" as her doula in not advising her more strongly to wait at home a bit longer. I know the right answers to my negative thinking--this was her choice, I am not in charge, God is sovereign, etc.... But, I think some of you may also understand that, despite the right answers, it is still easy to feel you have let someone down when you KNOW that birth can be a much better experience than what you saw them endure. My comfort is that I know her experience really would have been worse if I had not been there. I am glad I could walk with her on the journey that was ahead of us after the ER examination.

In the labor room, Teeny was given a hospital gown to change into--in front of two other patients who were laying in beds next to hers. Thankfully, the labor room had air conditioning (the ER had not and Teeny felt like she was about to pass out)! :-) I do not put pictures of myself on the internet, but, if I could, I would show you some shots of me fanning her with a wash cloth. It's all about improvisation. The hospital would not allow me to bring ANYTHING into the labor room with me. Teeny was immediately hooked up to an IV and forced to wear an adult diaper for the duration of her labor. Every time the nurses were not looking, we would un tape the thing so she could feel a little bit more freedom. Her doctor came by and told her that, since she was 4cm, she could go ahead and start bearing down and pushing with every contraction. We had talked about this in our birthing classes, so, thankfully, Teeny was prepared and confident in just listening to her body and waiting for the natural progression of labor.

When Teeny asked to walk to the bathroom, the nurses told her she was forbidden to walk. The explanation? If she walked, she would most certainly have cord prolapsed and would end up in an emergency C-section. I was already frustrated by several things going on, but this was over the top for me.

Over the course of her labor, Teeny received two injections without consent. The nurses said that the medicine was not pitocin. I am still trying to find out exactly what it was. Regardless, it had terrible effects. Teeny reached the point where her contractions were literally never ending....they were completely on top of each other and she was reaching mental and physical exhaustion. Another contributing factor was that the doctor ruptured her membranes during an internal exam without telling or asking her. Teeny was having a rough time of it and started demanding a C-section.

After much debate, the nursing staff allowed her mother to trade places with me in the labor room and speak with Teeny. They decided on getting a "pain free" shot. At first, I thought this was going to be an epidural, but it was just an injection through her IV. The medication was an opiate and Teeny became very sleepy, but could manage to breath through her contractions. I became very concerned for her at this point because no one was monitoring the baby's heart. In the seven hours we were in the labor room, fetal heart tones were checked twice. One thing I learned during this birth is, even in the worst possible circumstances I could imagine, the Lord is STILL there, His promises are STILL true and His mercy is STILL evident.

Before we left the labor room, I had the opportunity to see several Filipina women come in. Sometimes there were three women sharing a bed and laboring, silently and alone, next to each other. It was all very depressing to me.

Soon after she received the pain medication, Teeny felt the urge to push. She was sent into the delivery room and I followed. In the delivery room, she was given an oxygen tube in her nose and she began passing out between contractions. Unfortunately, Teeny does not remember the delivery room or the birth of her baby at all. The situation in the delivery room was appalling. The beds were completely flat and only long enough for a woman's torso. Several women were laying on the beds, spread eagle, waiting for sutures. The doctor repeatedly cleaned Teeny with a sponge soaked in Betadine. They retrieved the sponge from a canister filled with the Betadine. It was not sterile.

Teeny had a fairly easy time pushing. It only took two contractions in the delivery room and her beautiful baby was delivered! The doctors whisked the baby away, of course, to the nursery. Precious "Baby Love" was sleepy and pink. I was sent out of the delivery room to wait in Teeny's recovery room. About an hour later, Teeny asleep, extremely sleepy and groggy, not remembering much. She was mumbling about her baby--they STILL had not let her see the baby! As others were busy fussing over other things, I leaned down at the head of Teeny's bed and said to her, "Teeny, you did a great job. Your baby belongs to YOU and you can tell them they need to bring her to you NOW if you want them to." The Lord gave her the strength to speak up while the nurse was still in the room and she demanded her baby.

By the time Baby Love came to Teeny, she already had the beginnings of a rash on her face. A few days later, we would discover that she had contracted a staph infection. But, Teeny was able to breastfeed very easily within minutes of receiving the baby. The family was so put out by how the birth went, that they insisted on switching hospitals before treating the staph infection. The Lord provided the means for the baby to receive treatment at a much nicer facility. And now, we are thankful that mother and baby are doing just fine!!

I stayed with Teeny, her husband and Baby Love during their first few nights at home. Again, it was back to a beautiful, natural, harmonious situation--mother, father and baby depending on and working together to love each other and care for each other. They are a precious, beautiful family.

I'm thankful that this experience was bookended by those two seasons at home with Teeny's new family. But, the in between time was very sad. I realize that, at this point in my journey of doula-hood, I am just so zealous for women to know how amazing birth can be when we depend on the strength and the ways of the Lord. And, I am zealous for women of the third world to be given the opportunity to experience that kind of birth--in a safe and nurturing environment. It reminds me of the fact that Jesus came not ONLY so that we would have life....but, so that we would have ABUNDANT life.

May He come and reveal Himself in powerful ways to childbearing women of the Philippines!

Asking for Abundance,
Elizabeth Carmichael