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Charis Around
the World
Childbirth in Kenya
by Jannekah
Guya
Martin
and Jannekah
Guya with six month old Ezriel and two year old Amariah.
Loaves and Fishes
John 6:1-15
I’ve
often noticed that it’s usually the little things that make such a
difference and the biggest impact on the women I’ve worked with.
Even when I feel like I’ve hardly done anything at all, anything I
have done means so much to them. I guess it’s the
concept of loaves and fishes. When we give the little that we
have, God multiplies it to become something of significance,
something that makes a difference. I’ve always wanted to
change the world, and I guess that’s really how it’s done.
When we give ALL that we have to God, though it might seem like so
ridiculously little in the great scheme of things, HE can do
awesome, world changing things with our meager offerings. And
he usually does it one person, one family, one situation at a time.
An
example of when I felt like I gave very little, but it made all the
difference to a family, was working with my friend Colleta. I
have worked quite a bit with her husband Dan doing street children
ministries, but I only knew Colleta as a casual acquaintance.
I first met with her about her pregnancy about 6 weeks before her
due date. It was a very exciting meeting for both of us.
I gave her two books to look through and read and asked her her
thoughts about her upcoming birth. She confessed she was
terrified. As we talked more it became apparent that she knew
very close to nothing about the birth process or what to expect.
No wonder she was scared! Still, she had an excellent attitude
in general concerning her pregnancy. The best I’ve seen in
Kenya so far. For the most part she loved being pregnant and
feeling the baby inside her and had very few complaints. She
saw the pregnancy as a blessing, not an illness, and remained active
and in good spirits up to the very end. That was an
encouragement and a fabulous start.
Many women in Kenya do see pregnancy as an illness – even a
life threatening illness! Their attitude is often almost like
childbearing is a consequence of the curse after Adam and Eve sinned
in the garden, rather than a precious gift from God. If I can
help them change that mentality it really makes a difference, even
in the way they relate with their babies after they’re born.
As in every country, childbearing also greatly affects the family
dynamics, especially marriage. I’ve discovered that women in
Kenya are sometimes very mean and demanding when they are expectant.
They sometimes even seriously mistreat their husbands and behave in
ways they would never dare to normally. And that’s just the
thing. I think that many women in Kenya are so suppressed,
devalued, and mistreated that they see pregnancy as their one
opportunity to get some attention, some pampering, and to
“misbehave”, if you will. Of course some husbands won’t put up
with that even when his wife is pregnant, but I’ve noticed that even
some of the most domineering husbands are so confused and afraid
about all things surrounding pregnancy and birth that they will
allow their wives to walk all over them for those nine months.
I feel this is another very important reason to help women change
their way of thinking about pregnancy. I remind them that this
precious baby is a gift from God and many women in Kenya are crying
and longing for such a gift. (In Kenya, if a couple years pass
after a couple is married and the wife hasn’t conceived, the husband
will almost always either abandon her or take a second wife).
I ask women how God must feel when we use a precious gift from Him
as an excuse to behave in a way that doesn’t honor Him. I
encourage them to continue to respect and care for their husbands
and try to help them understand that doing so can make their
pregnancy more enjoyable, their labor more manageable, and their
family stronger when the baby comes.
Thankfully, both Colleta and Dan were an exception to this.
Colleta was making a conscious effort to treat her husband with
kindness and was continuing her household duties without complaint.
She shared with me that Dan was very understanding and helpful,
though he was out of town a lot, which seemed to bother her a lot.
She laughed as she told me how overprotective Dan was and how
terrified he was about the upcoming birth. I offered to talk
to him and help prepare them as a couple so he would also know what
to expect and how to help. When I asked Colleta who would be
with her during her labor she nervously laughed and told me she
would be alone. When I told her I’d be happy to be there with
her if she wanted, she was so excited and very relieved.
We talked about nutrition and I showed her the chapters on nutrition
in the books I’d given her. We talked about how birth is a
natural process and how God designed the body to bring forth the
baby and the importance of staying relaxed and letting the body do
its work. We talked about how the pain is a positive pain and
we shouldn’t fight it but embrace it. We talked about the
functions of the uterus and how the cervix effaces and dilates.
I told her that birth doesn’t have to be a horrible, terrifying
experience but it can and should be powerful, beautiful, and
awesome. It should make her feel empowered as a woman and show
her she can do anything. She seemed intrigued, almost amused,
and definitely very surprised.
When I reminded her that thousands of women give birth every single
day, that women have been giving birth since Eve, and that it’s a
completely normal, natural process God designed our bodies for, a
light bulb totally went on and I saw some of the fear melt away as
she became more empowered and confident. It was so beautiful.
I showed her the chapters on coping with pain and on the labor and
birth process. I assured her she could ask me anything
what-so-ever and she need never be afraid of asking any question.
I remember I felt like I was overwhelming her with information, so I
backed off a little and asked her about her tribe’s cultural beliefs
and practices surrounding pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and
newborns. Kenya has 42 completely different tribes. Each
tribe has it’s own language, customs and traditional foods.
She only knew a couple traditions concerning newborns, such as how
her mother would come with other women from the village to bring
gifts and her mother-in-law would come to shave the baby’s hair.
She didn’t know any cultural practices concerning pregnancy or
birth, but I noticed she loved talking about her and her husband’s
tribe and their clans and she offered a ton of unprompted
information. I happily listened, seeing it as an opportunity
to build a stronger relationship and trust between us, even
if it didn’t have much to do with pregnancy or birth. As I
prepared to leave she kept saying over and over again how happy she
was. I remember wishing she knew how happy it makes me to get
to help her! Loaves and fishes.
I saw Colleta two weeks later when I invited her and Dan over to our
house for dinner and more sharing. The first thing I noticed
was that they were both hesitant and shy about talking about things,
which surprised me since Colleta had been so open with me at our
first meeting. I quickly realized she was embarrassed to talk
about the birth in front of Dan. Dan didn’t want to be
involved at all really. I tried at first to show him how he
could play a part and why it’s important that he does, but he was
resistant and uncooperative and it was clear he was very
uncomfortable and unwilling so I stopped pushing and focused on
Coletta. Though I know it was a little awkward for her,
especially in front of Dan, she was a great sport and really tried
to apply herself to the things I was teaching her. Dan did ask a few
questions and that was encouraging. So though it’s tempting to
never try to involve a Kenyan dad again because of cultural
constraints, I think it’s better to be sensitive to each individual
couple, pray for discernment, and be willing to risk a little
awkwardness for the sake of fathers who might be willing to get
involved. So far, I’ve only met two Kenyan husbands who wanted
to be with their wives during the labor and birth of their children
(not counting my own husband=).
Colleta did find the courage to ask a couple questions in front of
Dan too. I remember they were both happy and surprised to hear
that pain in labor is not constant but that contractions come every
couple minutes and in between there is a break. They were also
happily surprised to learn that labor pain doesn’t just suddenly hit
you from nowhere and you find yourself screaming, but it intensifies
gradually. Colleta said several times that she was not afraid
anymore and that is the most important thing! Loaves and
fishes.
Eleven days before her due date, Colleta called me at around 8pm to
say she’d called a taxi to take her to the clinic because she’d gone
to the bathroom and saw some watery blood. She was so frazzled
I couldn’t hardly make any sense of what she was saying and I
wrongly assumed it was bloody show and she’d be back home in a
couple hours. That was a very good lesson for me in that I
will never again make casual assumptions without asking more
questions. It turns out her water had broke!
At about 9pm she told me she’d been admitted and the doctor had said
she was ready to have the baby, though she wasn’t having any
contractions. At 8:30 they’d checked her and she was at 3cm.
Being that it was her first baby I took my time tying up loose ends
at home and making sure my babies were well fed and set for the
night, figuring we were in for a long haul. When I got to the
hospital around 10pm she was hooked up to an IV and was being
induced. She was having really hard contractions and when I
timed them they were a minute apart! I felt frustrated for
her. She was going into herself so I just stayed nearby
rubbing her back and gently encouraging her. After several
contractions she was no longer able to stay on top of them and
became vocal. After about 45 minutes, just as I was running
out of ideas of how to help her, she started bearing down. A
nurse came in and saw this and asked her if she felt like pushing.
When she said she did, they asked me to leave, which was really
disappointing. In hindsight, I wish I had been more insistent
on being there.
I went and sat in the waiting area with Colleta’s very worried
younger sister. Dan was out of town. We anxiously
watched nurses running all over the place and then the doctor
arrived and rushed in. I watched closely to see what supplies
they were grabbing to try to guess how things were going. At
11:25pm I heard a baby crying. I couldn’t believe it!
Everything had happened so fast my head was reeling! A couple
nurses ran in and out over the following minutes and I finally asked
a grumpy nurse what was going on. She said Colleta had
delivered a baby boy. I asked how Colleta was doing and she
said that she was fine, though she had almost killed the baby by
refusing to push. I thought that was a horrible thing to say
and hoped they’d not said that to Colleta. I knew she must’ve
been so frightened because if I thought things had moved
fast, I could only imagine how she must’ve felt. Then at the
last minute they’d chased me out of the room, leaving her feeling
abandoned. Instead of kind, loving encouragement, she suddenly
had uncaring nurses shouting at her that she was killing her baby!
Finally around midnight they let Colleta’s sister and me in to see
her and the baby. I made it a point to really reaffirm her and
tell her what a great mommy she already was. The baby looked
JUST like her and was 3.6 kgs – almost 8 pounds! That’s a huge
baby by Kenyan standards, as most Kenyan babies aren’t much over 6
pounds. We called Dan, who was out of town and he was SO
excited. Then the grumpy nurse told Colleta’s sister and me
that we had to leave. Though I felt like I’d hardly done
anything, Colleta thanked me over and over and over and over.
Loaves and fishes.
Dan took the first public vehicle back before sunrise and I found
him at the clinic when I arrived the next morning to take them all
home. We waited all day for Colleta and the baby to be
released so we passed the time talking, laughing, praying, and
welcoming the many visitors. At about 4pm the doctor had
finally seen her, the papers had been signed, the bills had been
paid, and they were released to go. I took them home and left
them in the able, loving care of Colleta’s sister and the neighbors
who would cook, clean, and take care of them for the next 3 months
at least. Culturally, Colleta and the baby aren’t really
supposed to even leave the house before then. I went back for
visits over the next several days to make sure they were all
adjusting well and to help Mommy and baby Trevor get the hang of
breastfeeding. Colleta is a GREAT mother. I am so proud
of her and so honored to get to be a part of some of the most
precious moments her life. She and Dan still thank me
incessantly every time I see them. I must admit it makes me
feel kind of silly, but then I remind myself it’s not about me, it’s
about God multiplying my piddly loaves and fishes and the world
changing difference it made in their lives.
_____________________________________
Dear
Charis Family,
The first time I talked with Jannekah, I sensed in her the “Charis
Heart”. She is truly a sister and I’m not sure I can even begin to
communicate my excitement in having her as part of our “family”. I
believe her vision has been birthed from the same part of Father
God’s heart as the Charis vision and I am convinced that our
connection is a divine appointment. As a result, I asked her to
share with all of you about her vision for improving childbearing
practices in her community.
I know that when God gives a person a vision for something, he also
provides everything needed to bring it to pass. If something that
she shared here has touched your heart, please consider helping her
in this great work she is doing. If you would like to help Jannekah,
who lives in a severely impoverished place, to cover her tuition,
please let us know. Any amount would be a great blessing. There is a
midwifery scholarship fund to help people like Jannekah get the
education they need so they can make a difference in their
communities. The fund is currently very small, but if we all give a
little, it will grow to the size needed to offer Jannekah either a
partial or full scholarship.
To give you an idea of how just a little bit can make a big
difference, I have broken it down for you:
If we raise $10,800.00, Jannekah will have a full scholarship for
her tuition. That seems big, but it is only 30 families giving
$10/month for the next 3 years… or 15 families giving $20/month. Or,
for those who wish to sponsor one month of Jannekah’s tuition, 36
families giving a one-time donation of $300 would completely cover
her tuition. Most Americans waste more money than that, even in this
suffering economy. I believe it is completely possible to raise the
funds! God is a GOOD Father and he cares deeply about the people of
Kenya! Spread the word to your friends who care about the world’s
women and babies! Perhaps your small group or church would like to
sponsor a month ($300) or a quarter ($900). Together we can help
improve the lives of precious Kenyan women and babies.
Thank you,
Kristin Schuchmann
Executive Director, Charis Childbirth, Inc.
To donate to Jannekah’s scholarship, make your check payable to
Charis Childbirth, include a separate note designating it for
Jannekah’s tuition, and send it to
Charis Childbirth, Inc.
P.O. Box 6900
North Port, FL 34290
Our International Charis
Family
Your stories from around the world touch us and we pray for your
safety.
Thanks, Love and Blessings to every one of you!
'Behold, I will bring them from the north country, And gather them
from the ends of the earth,
Among them the blind and the lame,
The woman with child and The one who labors with child, together,
A
great throng shall return there...And My people shall be satisfied with My goodness, says the LORD.'
Jeremiah 31:8, 14~~~
©2011 Charis Childbirth
Services, All Rights Reserved
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leaving all attribution intact.
January 2011
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