The Secret Power Behind the Childbirth Professional

Part Six

By Todd Schuchmann

Over the past six months, the primary focus of these articles is how a husband can support his wife, the childbirth professional, and help her to become all God created her to be. This month, although the principles do apply to a marriage relationship, they are more far-reaching and all of our readers, including those who are not married, will find the following applicable to their lives.

In Ephesians 4:15-16 we read about the Church, “but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him Who is the head – Christ – from him whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.”

Most of us have heard about our “gifts”, spiritual or natural, many times over the years. Each of us has gifts and we are to use them to glorify the Lord and build His Kingdom. This talk of gifts has one of its primary roots in the fourth chapter of Ephesians. We all have gifts and we should use them to the best of our ability. This verse is very clear, however, that even when each of us individually use our gifts, when every part doing its share, it is not the utilization of the gifts alone that causes the growth and the edification in the body of Christ.

Look at this verse again; I will paraphrase it so it is clearer. Christ is the head of the Church and we are His Body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, causing the growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love as each part effectively does its share.

The growth occurs because of what every joint supplies, not just by what the individual parts do. But what is a joint? In our own bodies, a joint is where two bones come together. Without joints there is no movement. Without joints our body would be not be able to perform the simplest task. Without joints each of our body parts, bones specifically, would not be able to do what they were meant to do.

Think about it. What good is great eyesight if I am unable to move off my bed to see the sunset? What good are strong arms if my back is unable to handle the weight applied to it? What good are Olympic-runner legs if my knees will not bend? Without joints I would just be a pile of parts!

Each part must properly fulfill its role, but is in the relationship between the parts, the joints, that makes all the difference. The whole body is knit and joined together by what every joint supplies. In the human body the joint is where two bones come together, in the body of Christ the joint is where two people come together, a relationship. And as our relationships go, so goes the body as a whole.

Each of us may be highly gifted and filled with great things for the body of Christ, but if there are not relationships, there will be no one with whom to share the gift. It is the relationships, the joints, which facilitate the functioning of the gifts within the body. We need each other. We will only grow into the fullness of the stature of Christ when we do it together as a family. We are sons and daughters of God, but together we are his special people, the Bride of Christ.

This passage shares one key way for us to develop quality relationships: speaking the truth in love. I have found that a good indicator of healthy quality relationship is that the relationship can handle the truth. When I know I am with a true friend, I can share the secret areas of my life without fear of alienation or judgment. A true friend is neither intimidated by my strengths nor shaken by my weaknesses. An authentic relationship can experience conflict, disagreement, and failure and still hold together. In fact, authentic relationships get only stronger through adversity.

At this point my heart begins to ask, but how can I develop these kinds of relationships. I want this so badly, but I experience this depth of relationship so infrequently. Where do I begin? As soon as I ask this, one word comes to mind, “RISK”. But to risk is to be vulnerable and expose my heart to possible rejection, pain, or worse! There is, however, no other way. As in all things Jesus is our example.

Jesus wanted relationship with us; so while we were yet sinners he humbled himself, became a man and endured the shame and pain of the cross to secure relationship with us. What a risk! What vulnerability! He risked all and initiated relationship. Likewise we must be willing to go to others, into their world, connecting with them in a way they will understand and receive. If a connection is made with love, patience, and faithfulness, an authentic relationship may develop.

Not all people we meet and reach out to will become our best buddies. We will have different depths of relationships with different people. Jesus had thousands of followers, 120 friends, twelve intimate friends, and only three close confidants. We should expect no different for our own lives. Our responsibility is to be faithful to each relationship at the depth it is meant to be.

I have seen how easy it is for a childbirth professional to become isolated. The bulk of her relationships becoming mentoring in nature. When this happens, time for true authentic relationships lessens and she eventually is quite alone. We, as friends of birth professionals, can push through this tendency toward isolation and, through authentic relationships, can support and encourage in ways no others can. Also, childbirth professionals who recognize this pattern can intentionally build and maintain close relationships in order to prevent isolation from occurring.

Basically, each of us must take up the cross of Christ, reach out to others, risk our heart, and build relationships. As each of us does our part, our relationships will supply what we need to grow and be edified within the body of Christ. There is no other way. Church services won’t do it. Programs won’t do it. Meetings won’t do it. Only true authentic relationships can produce what we need to grow into the fullness of the stature of Christ, and isn’t that what the Lord wants for us? Isn’t that what we want?

If we want the Body of Christ to be healthy, and the individual parts (including those with the calling of service to childbearing families) to operate with the highest level of effectiveness, our time and energy would be well spent in the development and fostering of authentic relationships with others within the Body.

With much grace,

 Todd

P.S. For great reading on the subject of relationships, I highly recommend the book Authentic Relationships by Wayne Jacobsen. www.LifeStream.org